


Is It Too Late? (Yes, I’m back)

by FL0ze



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, F/F, F/M, Finn and Zorii are close, Finn and Zorii may have gotten really close, Finn's a legend, First Dance, Flirting, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Rey, Language, Love Confessions, Poe Dameron is a Good Friend, Poe is a leader, Rey's a legend, Romance, thriving
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:22:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23187721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FL0ze/pseuds/FL0ze
Summary: It’s been three years since the collapse of the Final Order and the trio have gone their separate ways.Poe has become a senator of Prime Republic, working vigorously to put the galaxy back in a state of peace and prosperity like Senator Leia Organa and Shara Bey would have wanted.Rey has become the Grandmaster of the New Jedi Order. Slowly, but surely, rebuilding the order into a force of good and hope. After the Battle of Exogol, Rey returned to the Lars Homestead, burying the Skywalker Lightsabers and declaring herself a Skywalker. With a new sense of identity and purpose, she ventured on her own path.Finn has become a sentinel of galaxy. Discovering his force sensitivity his own way, he forged his own destiny. Not a Jedi, something else. Finn’s found his calling doing what he loves: helping others.At the ratification of the Prime Republic Treaty on Courescant, the trio reunites. More importantly, Finn and Rey do. Reflecting on their  storied past, they finally confront their feelings for each other in an explosive fashion.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Rose Tico & Kaydale Ko Connix, Zorii Bliss & Finn, Zorii Bliss/Finn
Comments: 102
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, it's me. Sorry I haven't been active! I've been busy with school, spring break, writers block. All that jazz. But this whole Corona virus thing has the majority of the world locked in, including me. And I saw somewhere that Shakespeare wrote King Lear during the plague so that's pretty dope. Not that I'm ANYWHERE on Shakespeare's level(lmao), but I was inspired to write again cause I definitely have no excuse. So here's a new story where, after 5 years, and the trio are at their peak, Finn and Rey get into a huge argument, and their feelings finally swell to the surface. I saw the novelization leaks, and needless to say, they kinda hoed Finn and Rey, as usual. So, for the sake of the story, we have to acknowledge that according to the book, Rey apparently mind tricked Finn.That being said, I know how much they mean to each other so that's enough for me and hopefully we can make sense of it.

The Courescant atmosphere was crisp, a field of energy and excitement in the air. The sun was setting, setting on the period of war and turmoil. By this time tomorrow, it would have risen onto a bigger, better, galaxy. One where everyone worked for the betterment of others. Where people didn’t live in fear. Everyone united by the idea of prosperity. And it was thanks to the efforts of Poe Dameron and the Coalition.

After the war had ended, the Resistance, with no war to fight, became the Coalition. Instead of fighting, the Coaliton toiled away to repair the galaxy, and reforge the Republic. Not the Old Republic, Or The High Republic, This age was The Prime Republic. The galaxy had suffered long enough. With Leia gone, Poe became a leader. He stepped up. He had been born into the fight. Molded by it. Rebellion was in his blood.

And now, he was honoring the wishes of both his figurative mother, Leia, and his literal mother Shara. They’d molded him into the man he’d become. The Pilot. Leader. General. And now, Senator. He stood there on the landing platform, nervous. Brimming tentatively with anticipation.

The Fall breeze whipped his hair, his waves brushing against his forehead. He was fidgeting, standing in place yet, moving constantly. _I look stupid._ He thought, His black and orange tunic pressed against his skin. A black with blue undertones senator’s cloak billowing in the wind. The winds of change.

 _Just be cool. I’m sure they’re nervous too. You’re Poe freaking Dameron! You don’t get scared! Right?_ That was a lie. He had been scared. Scared of change. Scared that his friends were different people. A lot can happen in 3 years, he thought to himself. Instinctively, he brought his hand to his neat well trimmed beard. Then to his ever so slightly graying temples. 

He sighed. _Ah well_. He thought. _At least I can give the "Silver fox" thing a try._ The one thing Poe knew he would never lose was the Dameron charm.

A guard turned noticing his demeanor. “Sir, are you okay?” He asked inquisitively. Poe straightened himself realizing he had a reputation to uphold. “Nah, just waiting for some old friends…"

Finally, he saw it. It hadn’t changed one bit. The YT- 1300 Correlian Freigheter soared through the air, gliding through the sky with ease. It looked just had he remembered it. A wave of memories washed over him. Finn, Rey, Chewie. _Force he missed flying._

He was astonished at it's state. For all of its antiquity, it would probably be around long after he died. A graying, white coat of paint shimmered in the sunset. The engine humming steadily through the evening sky. The satellite hung securely on its bow. The Millennium Falcon. 

The ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen Parsecs. _Or was it twelve?_

Poe didn’t take the time to ponder. He was waiting. The entrance ramp lowered, steam permeating the air. And then he saw her. “Rey!” He called. The steam dissipated and she stepped out.

To say Rey had changed, yet stayed the same would be an understatement.

It was haunting, she looked just like Leia. Her short hair was cropped, woven intricately into brunette braids.

Her face was lean, strong. Confident. She had aged, not older ( _She looked like she could live forever if she wanted to),_ but like she had grown. Learned. Experienced. Thrived. And yet he still knew it was the same old Rey who would argue over who should fly the Falcon with Chewie.

After declaring herself a Skywalker, Rey moved with purpose. The galaxy needed the Jedi. Not for war, or personal gains. Peacekeepers. She said The Order needed to be how it was in the High Republic. Guardians. Peacekeepers. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Her eyes glinted with excitement, shining brilliantly in the suns rays. The sun seemed to gleam, causing them to shimmer a beautiful mix of both green and orange. 

She wore a revamped version of her outfit on Exogol. A loose blue shroud hung behind her neck, draping down her back. Poe recognized the pattern. It was a mixture of both Jedi and Naboo patterns. An homage to the people who had taken her in. Luke. Leia. Her outfit was more robe-like. Formal, yet practical. A Jedi master needed to be prepared for any sort of danger.

Between the white, thin lines of blue enveloped the dress-like robes, shrouding it with a warmth that reminded Poe of the light side. Like it was reaching out, spreading. 

"Hey." He said, embracing her in a hug, he finally took the chance to relax. It had been so long. He hadn’t even noticed another ship appearing. He just missed his friends. In the hug, Rey spoke. "It's good to see you Poe" He couldn't see it but she was smiling warmly. A moment passed and they dissipated.

She pulled back taking in her surroundings. 7:30 PM. _He was supposed to be here._ She thought.

"Where’s Finn?”

Now, in the midst of this day of celebration they stood, waiting for the other part of their little trio. And on the other side of the landing platform a matte grey YT-2400 freighter landed. And a Wookie, a former Spice Runner, and a man in Jedi armor stepped off the ship.


	2. Reunion

All it took was a moment. A glance between the two. For thousands of thoughts to rush into each others heads.

 _She got even more beautiful. And on top of that, she's a freaking Jedi Master?_ He thought.

 _He looks taller. Wait no. That's not possible. He's carrying himself differently now._ She thought.

 _Did she even miss me?_ He wondered, his face turning ever-so slightly to a melancholic frown. Only for a moment. He couldn't waste time on the past. He had something to look forward to. His friends were here.

She noticed him walking, side to side with both Chewie and his left and Zorii on his right. They seemed to hover near each other. _Are- are they..._

She blinked focusing on him now.

The most striking thing she noticed about Finn was his general energy. She could feel him in the Force, of course. His aura was strong, coursing all around him. But she couldn't describe it. He had always had this bright, warm vibe about him but this was different. Like the like it had actually manifested itself within the Force. 

A wave of pure tranquility and purity washed over her as he approached the duo, his figure becoming more distinct. It felt like a warm summer day on Ach To. She would take the students to run training courses if they had finished their lessons.

The sun glinted, casting him in this warm glow on his copper skin. His face leaner, yet more full. She raised her eyes to his hair. _His hair._ She remembered doing it for him. In that cave long ago, back on Ajan Kloss. Now it had grown.

The dreads didn't hang wildly to his shoulders.. The First Order had instilled a strong sense of personal care in every member after all. But they were noticeably longer.

Not enough to get into his eyes, or even reach his ears, but longer. They hung neatly, ever-so slightly, off his head.

 _If he wanted to, he could probably make a mini bun up top._ She found herself chuckling internally at the thought.

His outfit itself seemed to make his features pop. A black thermal sweater stretched across his skin, enveloping him in a layer of shadows even up to his fingers. Over that, a purple and dark brown tunic. His appearance very much Jedi-like.

Perhaps the most noteworthy change was his armor. Though Finn had sworn to never wear Stormtrooper armor again after the First Order, here he was. _No._ This one seemed different.

It was odd. It only appeared to protect him at valuable points. Allowing him a second shell of safety, this white poly carbonate armor ran long his arms. His shoulder pauldron displaying the symbol of the Jedi order. The wings and and the beacon of light. On his upper torso, another layer of armor rested against his strong chest. Even his shins were protected, the armor appearing to blend into boots as well. 

It appeared to allow both movement and protection. _I_ _might have to look into that._ She thought. She racked her brain. That armor. It looked familiar. Her mastery of the force, even encompassed knowledge. _The Clone Wars!_ She thought.

She remembered now, she had seen holo archives and read the journals. This was the armor the Jedi used in the conflict with the Separists. This durable, yet flexible set was meant to offer them protection.

Those Jedi had been more soldiers than peacekeepers. Jedi like Obi Wan Kenobi. Mace Windu. Aayla Secura. The ones who were with her then on Exogol.

He seemed to be in a trance. They both were. They walked pacing towards each other. Without a word, they already knew. They seemed to meet half way wrapping each other in a warm embrace.

They locked into place, standing there for a moment. Even though he barely loomed over her, she found herself raising her feet, trying to nuzzle into his shoulder. He returned the favor, closing his eyes to try and keep the tears in. 

_I missed you._ He thought. His eyes were blurred from the tears, but he felt another presence enter this moment. "Buddy!" Poe joined them, wrapping his arms around the both of them. Finn started laughing to himself. He couldn't contain his excitement. _Just like the old days._

Before he knew it Chewie too had joined them, engulfing all three in a Wookie-sized hug before lifting them up. Before even five seconds could pass, they found themselves in a both state of panic from being crushed and yet glee from finally being reunited. **"** **GRAGHWR"** Chewie roared.

Between breaths, Rey tried to cough out words. "Yep, it's in top condition, *uhg* hyperspace compressor and all."

After losing almost everyone in his life family, Chewie needed to leave. Far away. At least for a while. There were too many painful memories on the Falcon, so he entrusted it to Rey.

Poe found himself exclaiming. "Okay, okay big guy! You can put me *Gahck* down now!" Gently lowering them, he growled in delight. The group broke off.

There was a moment where Poe doubled over, heaving to catch his breath. Zorii walked over, endeavoring to rub his back mockingly. "All good Spice Runner?" She asked. She deactivated her mask, the golden helmet collapsing into the collar of her suit.

"Very funny." He replied sarcastically. They too hugged. During this, Rey and Finn caught themselves staring at each other. Longingly. Warmly. Like they were two old friends. Which they were.

With the whole group together, Finn finally spoke. "Sooo... long time no see." He quipped. He flashed a brilliant grin. "I missed you guys." He said with genuine warmth. His eyes trailed off. _Three years without his friends were three years too long._ Rey replied. "I did too." She put her arm out to rest on Finn's. "Both of you." She added, realizing her very public display of affection. She quickly reached out, also grabbing Poe's arm. Her cheeks flushing red.

"I could have really used you guys with the temple." Poe smirked. "Ditto here, but all that force stuff? That's you guys. I'm just a guy. A brilliant senator, but a guy nonetheless." She punched his arm. "Idiot." 

Poe did a double take, eying Finn down. "So do you wanna explain this get up or...?" Finn was surprised. He blinked, glancing down. "Oh this? It's a long story." Rey replied curious as well. "Well, we've got time." She shrugged.

Immediately after this statement, an announcement rang through the air around them. **<** **Requesting Senator Dameron. The Ratification c** **ommencement is immenient > **

Finn nodded to the others, realizing the time. "After, we're gonna be late."

Then Poe and Chewie began to walk towards the door, the guards following behind. Zorri, grazing past Finn and Rey,ran her slowly ran a hand across Finn's chest. "We better get going, or Flyboy's gonna kill us." She turned around to wink at him, grinning with a level of confidence they both wished they could carry. Finn, seemed almost hypnotized as he followed behind. 

Rey stood there thinking for a moment. She didn't even know, but she couldn't describe this feeling that was stewing within her. It was like she was slightly fuming. Something between awe and jealousy. _No way. I don't get jealous. Do I?_ She thought. _She's got him wrapped around her finger! They're not.... They didn't...._

She began to trail behind the group. Whispering curse words to herself.

A lot could happen in three years. _This was gonna be a long night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thanks for reading. I'm gonna try and get the chapters out asap but I wanna make sure they're the quality you guys expect from me. Sooo, a lot may or may not have happened to the trio while they were on their own. They all became the best versions of themselves, but some may have changed more than others. Comments welcome. Thanks for reading!


	3. Deal

The Senate building was a marvel of engineering. After the fall of the Republic, it had been deemed obsolete with the rise of Emperor Palpatine. It had stood, withering and growing decrepit for years before The New Republic reclaimed it.

The once grand building had been reformed from the ground up. Stronger. Unified. Its domed rotunda stretched out almost like a mushroom. It was meant to represent how democracy would always protect those below it. The ones who needed their voice to be heard.

As the group made their way through the halls, flanked by senatorial guards, they hurriedly rushed towards the new Council Chambers, Finn was awestruck. He had seen much on his travels in the last four years, but never anything like this.

The marble walls stood proudly, a golden light illuminating the corridor which stretched as far as Finn could see. Without using the Force, Finn could tell that this building was alive.

Aside from the bustling denizens scurrying through the halls themselves, there was a general electricity in the air that he couldn't quite describe. _Hope? He knew it was sappy, but hope had brought him far._ To Poe. To Rey. To Zorii.

This little thing called hope was the reason she was still with him now. He remembered it. The week after Rey had left his life. And Zorii came into it.

* * *

The First Order had been defeated properly, completely surrendering and relinquishing the little control over the galaxy it still had. Finn could remember the second round of celebration and jubilation, which was also occurring just as people began to depart. 

_Nothing lasts forever_ Finn supposed. Though he'd be lying if he said he wouldn't miss it.

This Resistance. _This plucky little crew of freedom fighters. They'd become his family. He lived with them. Trained with them. Bled with them. Even risked his life for them._ And now, for the most part, it was over.

Zabraks, Rodians, humans and etc. They were all going back to their planets. Their families. To try and rebuild. Pick up the pieces. And Finn had nobody. _Well he supposed he had Poe, Chewie and the droids._

But when Rey had left without a trace, Finn realized that maybe he was alone. After all this time, the time they'd spent growing together. She'd thrown him, and everything they'd done away. He didn't fault her. And he still loved her too. He always would, but it hurt him. It really did.

He would have never thought he would feel like this again. Not since the First Order. Not with Rey and Poe in his life at least. He felt small. Just like he had as a stormtrooper. She left right when he needed her the most, his connection with the force growing stronger everyday.

"You're welcome to stay with me." Poe had said. "Coalition could use people like you. Good people." Finn had wanted to join him. He did. But it didn't feel right. Like there was so much he still had to do.

 _The Coalition would help planets affected by the First Order yes, but there were so many people out there who needed help._ _Who would Finn have been if he let them suffer, knowing he could have done something?_

That day he decided he was gonna try and help as many people as he could. _It's what Leia would have done. Poe could be the shield. Protecting democracy. But maybe Finn could be the sword. Facing down evil._

Chewie had decided to go with him. For the first time in a long time, he didn't know what to do. All he knew is that he couldn't be near the Falcon. Near the war even. The Wookie longed for adventure. For exploring. _Maybe he could get that with this human._ They needed a ship. The first person they turned to was Zorii Bliss.

"You wanna what?" She asked in disbelief. She was busy making adjustments to her ship's exterior, preparing to take off. She wrapped, a cooling cord over her shoulder, hauling it up the ship's ramp. "Just give me a chance to explain." Finn pleaded, right On her tail.

Babu Frik laughed at this, muttering something similar to "Good luck!" as he toiled on the systems check.

While she was strong, the unwieldy cord beared down against her slender frame. While he was trailing behind her almost pleading, he instinctively came to her aid, taking the other brunt of the cable.

Setting it down, she sighed turning to face him. Crossing her arms, she signaled for him to make his little proposition.

"Listen, there are kids still stuck in First Order camps, I know they surrendered, but there's still some stragglers." He couldn't tell but she appeared to be listening intently now. He continued.

"Zorii, I was taken when I was two years old. The First Order, they stole me and they stole my life. I can't let that happen to anyone else.... **Please**!" 

He was pleading, his faced scrunched earnestly with sincerity. She pressed he side of her mask, it collapsing into a sort of golden collar around her costume. Finn had been taking aback. This was the first time he'd seen her face.

He was greeted with fair brown hair, beautiful yet pointed features, and a mesmerizing set of icy blue eyes. They weren't like Rey's which were warm and inviting. These eyes were like weapons. The eyes that could stare daggers into your soul. Even now he could see that she had a scowl across her face.

Then it softened. She studied him then she herself looked off. Finn was confused. Even with the mask on, Zorii had always appeared calculated, cunning. This was the first time, at least for Finn, that she'd truly seemed vulnerable.

She sat on a crate as Chewie waited outside, growling about offering to help others embark. 

Finn sat with her. 

She pulled her sidearm out of her holster, spinning it absentmindedly. Finn sat there waiting for a response. He didn't wanna pry. _Even he could see that the gears_ _were turning._ "Hey..." Finn, fearing for his life, like a hunter facing a bluurg, ever so slightly reached out, placing a hand on hers. The gun's spinning halted.

"Are you okay?" Finn knew trauma when he saw it. He could recall waking up screaming with Rey or Poe right there to hold him until he was wrapped in slumber again.

Her eyes were unmoving focusing on the gun. There was a long silence before she finally spoke. "Big Dea-"

"-You can call me Finn." He interjected. _For all his talk to Rey at the beginning of his adventure, he liked just being Finn._

 _"_ Finn..." She said slowly.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this but before I was a spice runner, I used to be a doctor."

Finn was surprised. Though he shouldn't have been. _You can't judge a book by its cover._ He was living proof of that adage. He was still gonna express suprise.

"Doctor Zorii Bliss!" He said, in pure awe. A smile formed on his lips. And while a smile formed on his face, a scowl formed on hers.

"Sorry." He muttered. 

She continued. "I did some good, helping out others on Kijimi. We didn't have much, that's why there was so much crime. But I thought maybe I could do some good. I became a New Republic doctor than came back home, trying to do right by my community."

She turned towards him now. "These people, they needed help." So I ran a clinic." She smiled a pained smile. _Finn would have never thought he would see her do so._ "And I was good. We were good. I helped all these kids, their families, the sick elders. All of them." 

She was gripping the gun tighter now, her knuckles contorting with force. "Until one day.... the First Order, with that big ugly sky trash, says that I'm hoarding war resources."   
  
He leaned in. Finn hated hearing how the Order has ruined lives. Brought so much pain. Yet, he listened to every story. He needed to know what was at stake.

"Sabotaging their war efforts. So... they did what they do best. They **destroyed**."

Subconsciously, her finger was wrapping around the trigger. _Finn was just glad the gun wasn’t facing him._

"The clinic, the settlement, but more importantly the lives." "They took every last kid, and anyone who didn't obey was silenced."

Her finger was clenched, pulling the trigger. The bolt shot out, careening into the crate. Finn jumped. "They beat me, robbed me and threatened to kill me and everyone else if I didn't go along with it."

She grimaced into a slight, satisfied grin. "I was afraid, for so long. I had to run. Run away from my problems. It's how I met Poe." Finn smiled for a brief moment.

"So yeah, it felt pretty fucking good to take the fight to them on Exogol. Make them hurt. Hurt like they hurt others."   
  
Finn, with a better understanding finally spoke. "I'm so sorry Zorii. I didn't know."

"How could you, you've only known me for like two weeks dude." They both laughed.

He spoke again. "I know it sucks, but we can do something right now to make sure it never happens again." He stood up offering his hand.

"What do you say?"

She stood up too, taking it. "I'm in. But you're sure as hell not flying."

"Deal." He smiled


	4. Together

The hall's of the building seemed to wind on forever. Yet slowly but surely, they made their way into the inner echelons of the Senate building. Poe led them deeper into the building, the ceiling growing higher and higher.

Perhaps even more noteworthy was the deafening sound, growing louder which each step. "Somebody's excited." Rey noted over the yells. This was a big day after all.

They finally arrived at the chambers but not before Poe turned around. "Okay, you guys stay behind me." "And try not to do anything crazy okay?"

The whole group nodded in agreement. "Great." He responded. Entering the door, they were bathed in a white light. The hall was huge. It was spacious. Thousands of floating podiums lined the walls forming a giant U. In the center, a single Podium extended all the way to the wall behind it.

Poe and company stepped out, trying not to be struck be the thousands of blinking eyes staring at them. The room fell silent. Awkwardly, the group shuffled behind Poe, standing off to the side of the stage. He stepped forward to the podium, gulping. _You're Poe freaking Dameron. You got this._ It was time to speak.

* * *

"This is the start of something.... It's a new day for the galaxy!" He began, receiving a scattered applause. "My name is Senator Poe Dameron, and I was tired." They were listening, quiet again. He took that as a sign of encouragement. "I was tired of living in fear. Living under the heel of the cowards called the First Order."

"The cowards who raped, pillaged, stole, and destroyed anything they wanted!" "I was tired." There was a stronger applause now. "I was tired of being told what we couldn't do. How to live; I was tired in living in a galaxy that wasn't free." It grew quiet again. "And so was Leia Organa."

There was a mutter in the crowd. Before the Rise of The First Order, Leia had been ousted from the Senate just for being the daughter of Vader.

She had fought against injustice all her life and had been punished for something she couldn't control. _No wonder Rey had decided to become a Skywalker._ He scoffed.

"And so was Han Solo. And Amilyn Holdo. And Temin Wexley. And Paige Tico. And Iden Versio..." He looked up in the crowd. Somewhere up there, sat Rose, Connix, Kin, and Zay. _He was thinking of them._

"They were tired. So they fought. Fought with their lives so we could be here now." These are just a few of the thousands that have died in the past 100 years to make the galaxy a better place. "Senator Padme Amidala, Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi, Shara Bey..." He paused, thinking back to memories of flying with his mother. _I miss you mom._ He thought to himself.

He turned towards, Rey. He had to let her know. Let her know that he forgave him, forgave him for Leia.

"..... Even Ben Solo.” “All of these people fought and sacrificed everything for a better tomorrow." She blinked, tears forming in her eyes. Finn instinctively brought her in close. _He hated seeing her sad._ _She'd been sad long enough_. 

"That's why we're here today, to honor them. To honor each and every person who died to make **this..."** He pointed around the room. "Happen." He turned to Finn now. "Finn!” He whispered harshly.He was grinning.

"Me?" Finn mouthed, pointing at himself. _What the hell did he need him for?_

"Press the thing!" He said pointing towards something behind him. Finn hadn't even noticed. He was lucky he didn't accidentally lean against it. Tentatively, he pressed it. All around them lining the walls, curtains were drawn and with it it 14 statues were revealed.

Poe clapped, looking at the handiwork. The audience erupted with applause Luke Skywalker with R2-D2, Leia Organa , Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Poe Dameron with BB-8, Chewbacca, Anakin Skywalker with C3-PO, Obi Wan Kenobi, Rey Skywalker, and Finn Stormbreaker. The name he'd adopted. He'd broken his chains as a storm trooper.

In the center stood Padme Amidala, a shining example of what it mean't to serve the people. _Like mother like daughter._ Poe supposed.

The statues were metal grey, yet surprisingly well featured. They stood against the wall, holding the roof up. The on the ceiling was a beautiful mural of the galaxy. In a way, they were holding the galaxy up.

Everyone cheered in delight and approval, Chewie roaring in celebration. 

_This beats a medal right big guy?_ Poe thought. 

The audience quieted again as Poe raised his hand. "Now these statues aren't supposed to built in vanity, even though I will say, I don't look that bad." He joked. The audience laughed. 

"I wanted you to know that these people, who risked everything to do the right thing, will be here. As long as I'm alive, I will strive to lead you. Strive to look out for you." "These people have and will always fight for you."

"Today, we celebrate."

He breathed in. 

"Tomorrow, the work begins. We're gonna bring peace, freedom, justice and security to the Prime Republic. I know it. He looked up before smiling back towards the crowd. 

"The galaxy is **literally** in our hands," He chuckled "Let's make something better out of it. Together." 

There was a standing ovation as thunder applause hit the stage like a brick.

Finn smiled to himself. _Poe Freaking Dameron. Spice Runner. Runner of Spice. Pilot. Resistance General. Senator. But most importantly, giver of kick-ass speeches._

He stood there embracing his friends, ready to celebrate.


	5. Clink

The ceremony lasted only a bit longer. One by one, thousands or races ratified the treaty at once. The hover platforms began to display a holographic projection of the declaration, a sea of blue washing over the room at once. It was almost mesmerizing. Transdoshans, Zabraks, Twi'leks, almost every group in the galaxy was represented. This time, everyone would get a say. Poe stood at the center he himself smiling. Behind him his friends stood taking in the moment. 

Rey found herself grinning from ear to ear. Every kick she'd landed, slash she'd dealt out. Every hit she'd taken, they'd all taken. _It had been worth it. It led to this. The start of a better galaxy. Together._ Never in her life, in all her time alone on Jakku in that AT-AT Walker had she believed she would be here. Be anything more than the scavenger. She could still remember that day four years ago.

Her stomach's hunger burned through her spirit. Every day she spent scavenging, waiting, she knew was a day of her life she was wasting. A day she would never get back. She hated herself for staying. She hated her life. But it was all she knew. She looked up from her station. The woman ahead of her, scrubbed the black metal, toiling, vigorously to remove any grime and oil. That could make maybe a half a portion or two. _Not enough for someone so old._ Her wispy, winter white, hair fell to her shoulders, her skin clinging to her visible bones. Rey was hypnotized watching her hands move in rhythm. _This is my future..._ She wanted to cry. But it wasn't her future. All these people had entered her life. Leia. Han. **Finn.**

She'd been grateful to have met the kind stormtrooper. He was a good, kind man. He was her first friend. The first one to believe in her. To come back for her.

She turned to him now. Waiting. Waiting for anything. Any sort of reaction. Any kind of sign.

Amongst a sea of applause, he looked everywhere but at her. She could see him. He gazed out to the ocean of people, a quivering smile on his face. She couldn't imagine how much this meant to him. He turned to Zorii, wrapping her in a hug. He looked happy. And she felt invisible. A twinge of sadness washed over her. She was alive. She was celebrating. But she wasn't celebrating with the person she loved.

The noise was drowned out, leaving Rey with her own thoughts.

After personally signing a Dameron like signature complete with an smiley face, Poe finally spoke again.

  
'Okay, let's celebrate!"

* * *

The revelry was in full effect, the sounds of joy and laughter echoing around the table. Drinks and elixirs sourced from all over the galaxy sloshed in their glasses, the alcohol fuming the room. The gala was held in an almost ballroom like structure the grand ceiling and walls giving the appearance of an almost technological castle. A golden glow bathed the room, showering it's occupant's with a feeling of warmth and hope. As they'd funneled in and the party was in full swing, the group had dissipated mingling with the fellow locals. 

Across the room, Rey saw Zorii heading to the bar, a serving droid filling drinks rapidly. A short, portly Harch approached her. His arachnid like appearance didn't seem to repulse her, but what he said after immediately did.

"Soooo... what does someone with such beauty as your's do to earn a proper wage?" His stubby hands reaching towards her shoulder, trying to caress her. In one swift motion she turned, grabbing the creature by his jowels. She slammed him against the counter with so much force that every drink on the counter clinked with vibrations. The party stopped, staring at the scene at the bar, the music blaring in the background. Finn instantly rushed over, a drink in his hand. She leaned in, speaking precisely.

"I kill bad people for money." She was even closer now, bearing down over him even more force. She whispered, bringing her mouth to the closest thing that would even remotely resemble a ear. "Sometimes if I feel like it." The Harch was trembling now. "I apologize, I assure you I mean no offense." Finn walked over now, ready to intervene.

Suddenly, she withdrew, releasing the stranger, who then proceeded to let out a long sigh of relief. She brushed him off before pushing him away. The party seemed to deem the situation resolved, and everyone went back to socializing.

Finn stood there, discussing something. They were exchanging words. Taking his drink, Zorii walked off while Finn laughed, appearing slightly confused.

Rey couldn't make out what the two were saying but she could tell it must have interesting. 

"He was a prick." She huffed, letting out a sigh. "Don't get me wrong I know." Finn replied. "This thing sucks, remind me what we're doing here again?" She crossed her arms, smiling at Finn.

Finn rolled his eye. _Chewie's behaving more than her._ He scanned the party, spotting the Wookie roaring and talking to some old Resistance personnel. "Because..." He said, extending his hand out to present her a drink.

"Our friends are here, plus maybe we can network. Get more contacts you know? It would make getting missions easier." She appeared to weigh her options, tilting her head back and forth. After a beat, she took it, beginning to walk back into the thick of it. "You're lucky I put up with this.” She gestured towards him with her drink. Finn found himself smiling. _Zorii Bliss was extraordinary._

* * *

The party blurred by as the festivities kicked into high gear. Aside from the songs, the food, and the atmosphere of optimism, Rey noticed all of the interactions. Poe moved swiftly with guards forming his rearguard. Every few moments, he would move from between swaths of senators regaling them of war stories, and tales of adventure, no doubt playing into that "Dameron charm."

 _It was no wonder he was such a good leader._ She thought. Even back in the days of the Black Squadron, he could make the people around him believe in anything. _Now that she thought about it, she supposed that Finn, Poe and even she had this talent._ Even though she didn't always feel like she was some grand hero. To her right, near the window her friends were congregating. They sat there, Rose, Connix, Zorii, Chewie, Kin and even Finn they were laughing. Finn saw her across the room, flashing a bright white smile and beckoning her to join them.

* * *

"Okay okay okay, so you're telling me you-" He said pointing to Rose. "Are the Vice Chancellor of the Senate." Rose nodded, taking a swig of a drink, the bubbles fizzing near her face. "You're in charge of the Galactic Library, and you work for the Prime Republic Security Bureau?" He pointed to Kin then Connix, they both smiled affirmatively. "Pretty much." They answered.

"Okay well who do I thank for watching out for Poe?" He turned to Rey nudging her playfully. "Me and Rey got tired of switching shifts." He joked. Connix reached over, squeezing Rose's hand. "I mean, she does." _Finn was confused._ "Oh, I didn't see you up there today." "Rose sighed, "Yeah its a whole ceremony thing, he didn't really need me like that." She leaned over, turning towards Connix, kissing her on the cheek. "Besides, I got her looking out for me. All of us technically!" Everyone laughed. Finn looked towards Rose. 

He would never forget the kindness she showed when she saved his life. The moment they shared when she kissed him on Crait. Even though he didn't share the same feelings, he was happy for her. Glad to see she was happy. That she'd found someone to keep her warm. Rose could feel it too, reminiscing about different times.

"But what about you guys?" She said, gesturing towards Rey and and The trio. Rey breathed, huffing a sigh. "Well.... after Exogol and Tatooine, I went off..." She could see that Finn was staring at her attentively. She wouldn't meet his gaze.

"The Jedi, they guided me. I went off searching for other Force Sensitives, all so we could rebuild the Order." Finn had his hands propped on the table, covering his mouth, his big brown eyes unmoving. She continued, trying to ignore his gaze.

"We're thirteen strong now, twelve students. We're doing it different though." She continued, "Yeah the Jedi are warriors, but we aren't supposed to be soldiers. The Jedi of the High Republic, they were peace keepers. That's what we're supposed to be. And that's what we're gonna do." She narrowed her eyes, staring at her drink with empty eyes.

"I'm not gonna let what happened to the Skywalkers happen again." She said.

At this moment Poe came over, taking a seat on the other side of Rey. "So, what'd I miss?" He asked, setting his drink down. 

Rey turned to Finn.

"Well.... I think it was Finn's turn to tell us what he's been up to."


	6. Forward

Finn exhaled. He suddenly felt self-conscious all the eyes on the table trained towards him. Rey was there, encouraging him, she placed her hand on knee. _He needs to know he's not alone._ He turned to her, silently thanking her before turning back to the group. "Okay." Reaching out slowly under the table, withdrawing a a black and silver object.

It was beautiful, if not simple. Elegant, yet subtle. No more than a foot long. The black grooves were edged along the handle, forming a simple grip. Finn placed it on the table, appearing unsure of the situation. He glanced around, everyone's faces seemed perplex. _Especially Rey's._ She appeared to be putting together this grand puzzle in her mind, thousands of thoughts flooding at once.

 _Is that a....?_ She thought. Finn could feel her. Her guilt. Her worry. _Why_ _would she be guilty. She wanted this. She didn't need me._ Before he could let his mind wander, to a colder, sadder place, he focused on his little presentation.

"Okay..... don't freak out you guys." Ever so slightly, he raised his hand. He could feel it. The energy. The Khyber crystal. It pulsed, grow warmly. Invitingly. The hilt began to lift off the table, slowly casting a dark shadow over. Finn held his hand out, closing his eyes.

He was concentrating. Drawing his power towards the hilt. Slowly, the hilt began to dismantle. One by one all the facets pulled apart. The switch. The emitter. The khyber crystal.They could see it all. The small fractal glowed white, the power radiating from it's center. 

"Amazing." Rey said. _The force. He has the force. Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't the Jedi tell me._ She was astonished, her eyes studying the development with intrigue. "Can I?" She gestured towards Finn. "Oh! Sure..." He replied. She reached ever so slightly, delicately plucking the fractal filled object from the field of parts. She lifted it to the light eyeing the crystal. 

The gears were turning in her head. This is a white khyber crystal. _The mark of a grey Jedi. But if he has this that mean's he's a Jedi._ She didn't have much more time to process as the party goers began to notice, their attention towards the group. Instinctively, Finn quickly reassembled the lightsaber, shielding the crystal's pure form.

Rey turned to him. She couldn't see much in the room as the lights had been dimmed but she could see the countenance of someone who for lack of a better word, _gone through some shit._

Tentatively, she reached out placing her hand on his. And almost just as cautious, Finn slowly withdrew his, bringing it closer to his own body. It was a motion witnessed by the whole table. Nobody said anything. Rey tried not to let that action hurt her. _Maybe he needs space._ She thought. In a hushed tone, she spoke. "Finn, where did you get this?"

So he told. Her. He told them all.

* * *

He went through his story. "Well, after you left, and the war was over, I didn't know what to do..." She felt a sharp twinge of sadness and guilt. Like a gut punch. They had been friends. They'd meant the world to each other. _And I just threw it all away. Then she remembered her promise, promise to protect the light. She hated destiny._

"All I knew is that I wanted to keep helping people. Do right by the people who gave me a home by making the galaxy a better place. He smiled, nodding towards Rose, Connix, and Kin. "Maybe make the Prime Republic a better place." "I didn't know if I was cut out for government stuff, but if I could help somebody, anybody out, I would." He looked to his right, towards both Chewie and Zorii. They were both looking at him with a strange mix of pride and a lax sense of ease as he relayed their past.

"Luckily, so would they." He continued. "So we went off. Exploring the galaxy, saving people, taking down bad guys, we did it all." He continued once again. "We were kind like guardians or something. It was just the three of us and Babu Frik." He sat fidgeting, palming his hilt. "The four of us against the galaxy." He gulped bitterly. He seemed happy, yet torn at the same time. Like something- someone, was missing.

Poe grinned, clamping Finn on the shoulder. "Buddy I see what you guys are doing, anything you guys do, helps all of us in the long run. You need anything, you call me okay?" He smiled. Finn brought his hand to his shoulder appreciatively. "Thanks man, I will." 

"That still doesn't explain the whole outfit, or the saber." Rey noted. Everyone turned towards her, mumbling in agreement. Finn exhaled sitting back. His eyes glazed up. "Okay. This is gonna sound crazy, but about a year into this whole "hero for hire" thing, I started hearing a voice. A woman. It guided me all over the galaxy for months. During this time, all this weird stuff with he force started happening." Weird how?" Rey asked. Now intrigued. "Well, I started being able to sense things. Like life energy and all that. In Chewie and Zorii. Hell, everything around me. And I could move things too. It was little things. A wrench here and there. Maybe close a door. I didn't have a lot of control. I was scared." He demonstrated this, lifting a cup in front of him.

"It was more though. It even extended to fights. The First Order had always given me good combat training, especially hand to hand. But now on missions its like I-"

"Knew what to do on instinct?" Rey interjected. He nodded affirmatively. "Well, yeah. That and I could focus. Like hard. I could alway aim well, but my precision was insane." "I- I think it might have started back on Jakku. They day the Force woke up again. I think it was in both of us." Rey brought her hand to her face pensively. _That would explain a lot. But why had it taken longer to manifest in him?_  
  


"The voice kept getting louder, I thought I was going crazy." He mused 

"But eventually we found the source: A togruta. A woman named Ahsoka Tano." "She was hiding out in the Outer Rim."

Rey had heard that name before. She'd seen it in the journals of the Galactic Republic. But more importantly, she'd sensed her _On Exogol._ Somehow, she'd felt her voice, urging her on. She didn't know how but she knew it was the same person. "She told me she'd been waiting for me. Waiting for me to wake up. She joined us for a bit. She helped us. Even trained me. Taught me everything I know. All about the Force. The Jedi. The Sith. And the balance in the middle."

Finn had still sold her short. She'd done so much to help him grow, grow into an even better person. Not to mention giving him that bitching clothes. "A Jedi Knight needs Jedi armor." She'd said. Finn still remembered sitting there, a bundle of tunics robes, and armor plates. He'd never seen as anything as extraordinary as this little bit of history. He was carrying on the legacy of a the Jedi. A protector. 

"Heh I guess in a way, that's what we were trying to achieve when we started guarding the galaxy." He said, letting out a dry laugh. _Balance._ He thought. "So, I became a Grey Jedi. I built my saber, and I took up arms to continue helping others." 

"How did you get the white crystal?" Finn looked sheepishly. "I... kinda purified it. Originally, it was blue, but it just wasn't right." Rey frowned. Not in disappointment but thought. _This all sounds a lot like what Luke had tried to teach me. There was so many spectrums of the Force_ , but why had Finn been deemed grey?

"So that's it. We've been doing the same thing, only now it was kinda like we got an upgrade." "What happened to Ahsoka?" Kin asked. Jedi and Sith history had been wired into his brain. He was like a living encyclopedia. _Makes sense that he'd want to know._ Finn thought. He frowned. "We don't know. She said she had to leave on day and she hasn't been back since. I still can't hear hear voice...."

It was Rose speaking now. "Maybe she's still out there... if she needed help, she'd call right?"

"Yeah, sure." Finn didn't sound confident herself. This was his master. _And I can't even find her._

"Wow..." Rey said. "That's.... a lot to take in...." Poe agreed. 

Finn spoke, looking around the whole table. "I know.... whatever life gives you, you just have to keep moving. So I did." He smiled sheepishly, yet somehow still filled with sorrow.

Rey got up. Excusing herself. _No no no. This is all wrong. He shouldn't have had to gone through so much of this on his own._ _She needed to get away._ So she did. And Finn went after her.

In the middle of the ballroom floor as the music blared. She made her way through, maneuvering through aliens. She felt a single thought. A feeling. It reached out, pleading to be let in. 

_Rey._

It was Finn. In the force. _He was trying to talk through the force._ She turned around to see him standing there. Pleading with his eyes. He held out his hand. 

_Can we talk?_

_I don't wanna talk._ He reached out his hand again. His eyes urging her, asking her. _Please._

_Well can we at least dance?_

Once again, Rey felt an overwhelming wave of peace. A sense of light radiating off of him. _I can handle that._

Walking over to him, she surrendered to it.


	7. The Last Dance

They met each other halfway. In the midst of the ballroom, with just the music ringing, and cries of celebration dissipating in the air around them, all they could focus on was each other. The sound seemed to fade and reverberate around the walls, as their ears could only hear the music... and each other.

 _It's funny._ He thought. For all his change and growth, when he was around Rey, _he was so... so exposed._ She made him feel like the whole galaxy was watching. Like he was the most important man in the galaxy. His knees buckled ever so slightly, her gentle, if not timid eyes meeting his.

She had wanted to leave. _It was too much, too fast._ She'd thrown away her future to build a better future for everyone. Her she'd sacrificed so much, all to rebuild the order. And he'd done so much **w** _ **ithout her**._ She was happy for him. He'd found a place in the galaxy. She only wished she could have found it with him.

She got up to leave, but she felt him reaching out. Pleading. Gently tugging her towards him. Not rough or invasive, but a simple plea. She'd felt it again. His essence in the force. Something pure, raw light and shade. Cold and warmth. Grey Jedi's brought balance, but Finn himself radiated a type of peace Rey had never felt. As she slowly turned, around she could feel him. He didn't want her to leave. Not again.

"Have.... have you ever done this before?" He gestured around looking towards the other patrons. Everyone appeared to be in a trance, moving steadily to the melody, many species doing whatever could be considered a waltz. 

"She let out a slight laugh, shaking her head and looking down. Something between embarrassment and despondence. "I umm." She hesitated "I... don't know how." "Oh." He looked surprised, yet some how relived. "It's... okay. I don't know how either..."

They both looked around analyzing the scene. Taking in the maneuvers of the other patrons, like it was a battlefield. _He supposed it was kinda like a battlefield._ He smiled. _She liked when he smiled. It made her feel like everything was okay._

"Do you wanna figure it out... together?"

She nodded. "Yeah... I'd like that"

She took his hand, and they somehow led each other to a refuge. A spot of their own. In the middle of the dancefloor, it was just them.

Finn didn't exactly know the protocol for this type of thing. He'd been trained to be soldier, not slow dancing. "I um- I think your hands go here. He grabbed them, gently raising them to his shoulders. Instinctively, her arms raised higher, locking around his neck. "Oh yeah that seems right." "And I.... put my hands here?" He stuck his arms out, slowly sliding them down her body. When they reached her hips he looked to her. "Does this feel right.?" "Like is this okay?" He smiled nervously, looking for a glance of her approval. When he got it, an excited, but nervous grin he felt relieved. "Yeah..." They began.

Across the room, he could see his friends.They were staring at them. Approvingly. All nodding their heads or smiling. Even Zorii raised a bottle of ale, almost in an approving manner. 

Rey frowned, then craned her neck, attempting to peer behind her. Back towards the others. She suddenly felt conscious. Like for some reason, she didn't belong. Finn almost read her mind. Suddenly, before her mind to somewhere sadder.

"Hey! Don't worry about them. Just look at me." "Okay... you're right." He maneuvered them, getting the others out of her view. Just the two of them. She wrapped her hands closer, but not before she brushed a stray hair out of his face. "Thanks." He laughed. "No problem." She smiled back.

They soaked in the music, letting it wash over them. The song had no words. Just a quiet, distant melody. All around them, it echoed. As their bodies swayed, in musical trance the two friends pulled closer together. The rhythm drawing one towards the other. They were a breath away, his figure towering a couple inches above hers. They would always joke about the height difference. Even now, he had to lower his eyes to look into hers.

He was lost. Her warm hazel eyes were a fractal-like forrest. The colors shifting from everything from green, to orange and even grey. He could look all day and he'd be okay. He was lost, and he didn't wanna find a way out. The Force had chosen well. Rey was what a Jedi could and should be. Strong. Elegant. Compassionate. And most importantly, a beacon of light.

Likewise, she looked to his. They'd both seen so much. They weren't tired. But ancient. The First Order had changed him. Changed how he saw the galaxy for the longest time.Those eyes. His brown iris, inviting her. Like a sunrise. _Maz Kanata had said he had the eyes of a man who wanted to run._ Now, as Rey studied him. She could see that even the pint-sized pirate queen could be wrong.

She looked again, admiring the features and the eyes of someone who cared for others. Maybe even more than himself. Not a runner. A fighter. A champion of peace. _No wonder he became A Grey Jedi._ He would fight for his friends. For anyone who couldn't fight for themselves. She admired him, when they entered the war, they'd been forced into this life. All because of their care for each other. But they'd both grown to see more than just themselves. 

They were in rhythm now, swaying on an island, each feeling like the only other person in the galaxy to the other.

This went on for what felt like eternity before finally, Finn spoke. Or at least tried.

"Rey... I..." She still liked the way her name rolled off his lips. "Theres so much- so much I wanna say...." 

Rey unclasped her hand, slowly bringing it to his face. He closed his eyes, his muscles slacking at her touch. Ever so slightly, he nuzzled his head further into her touch. "Oh Finn."

Her fingers rested on his cheek, reaching slightly under his chin.

"I do too..."

He opened his eyes again. "So you agree?" 

She sighed. She supposed she couldn't delay it. "Yeah..." Her eyes lit up.

"Hey... do you wanna get out of here?" She asked. She smiled tentatively.

Finn looked sad. Like he didn't want this moment to end. He seemed like he was finally at peace.

"After?"

"After."

"I like after."

So they stood there. Once again, Rey brought her hand to his neck but this time she also brought something else. Her head rested against his firm chest now. She could hear the THA-THUMP of his heart. It was rhythmic. Strong and steady. _Like him._ His chest rose and fell with every breath. Slowed, relaxed.

He'd been taken aback. They'd hugged before but this felt different. Closer. He couldn't describe this new feeling. But he liked it, Savoring the moment, he dropped his own head into crook of her shoulder and neck. This embrace closer than any they've had. And they swayed there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, thanks for reading! I'm on a car ride to my college. I have to get my stuff, hence why I'm finally updating again. I'll try and get the last couple chapters out asap, but you guys should know, this next chapter's gonna hurt like a bitch. 
> 
> I've uh, listened to some sad boi hours songs like "Molly", "Robbery", "I Fall Apart", Etc.
> 
> Some words will be said, nothing disrespectful but actually scathing. I'm gonna try and be fair to both sides, but the whole reason I even wrote this was because I was frustrated with how dirty they did these two. Especially with how Rey kinda treated Finn. They both deserved better, and I think this is my way of expressing that, but we have to work with what we have so here we are. There's a light at the end of the tunnel for sure so stick around. I hope you enjoy reading, and I appreciate all sorts of comments, criticisms, and more!  
> -E


	8. One Last Time

As the music faded, the blue lights of the grand hall glimmering around them, enveloping them in a cool shade of cobalt light, they stood there. There heads were pressed together, their eyes shut. They felt each other. All of each other. In the force, it had felt like a connection reforged. Finally, Rey's eyes fluttered, followed by Finn's. 

"We should probably...." She nodded her head towards the door. But not before glancing towards their friends. All of them noticed their sudden attention towards the table and instantly tried to look distracted or busy. They failed miserable. Zorii owned up to it, winking knowingly. 

"Oh yeah. Let's just say goodbye really fast. I don't think Poe would forgive me if I left the party without at least talking to him." 

Rey chuckled. "He'd probably issue a galactic bounty on us." 

As they made their way back towards their friends, they seemed to be noticeably closer. Their presences was familiar, comforting. And it was reflected when they fingers grazed each others. More than once. 

After what felt like an eternal walk back, they arrived. The group tried to act as if they hadn't witnessed such a vulnerable, intimate display of a bond not even 10 minutes ago. Rose blushed, her cheeks burning a bright pink haze. Poe was downing a drink, trying desperately( and failing to conceal the look of embarrassment and glee on his lips), all while Zorii just glanced at the pair. Appearing to almost analyze their relationship.

Rey hadn't known what to think of Zorii. She remembered when she'd met her. Her staff collided with her allies in a swift motion, dispatching all the foes, including her. She ignited her lightsaber, and she remembered reaching out. Person to person. They understood each other. They both wanted to survive. 

And now she'd changed her whole life. Become a guardian.

"Poe, thank you so much for this but I think I'm gonna call it a night." She paused. "I would stay but, I have to go get ready to depart tomorrow. I'll see you guys in the morning?" 

Poe blinked before taking the hint. It dawned on his face before his lips crept into a micro smile. "Oh yeah sure. Jedi's need their sleep too right?" They hugged, and slowly everyone else moved to share their evening farewells before also dispersing. That left Rey, Finn and Zorii.

"Finn I'm gonna go." Rey said. They'd already discussed where they would talk. _She should probably give them space anyway._ She thought. 

As she left Zorii kept her eyes trained on her, tracking her frame as she maneuvered through the party, growing smaller with every step. Finn took a seat. He wasn't looking forward to this.

They sat their staring at each other for merely seven seconds before she spoke. Finn opened his mouth to speak.

She interrupted.

"I know."

Finn was shocked. _There's no way she..._ She spoke again, whipping him out of his own thoughts. She reached across the table, placing her hand over his. "Finn.... when we started this- whatever it was we both knew it wasn’t for the long haul.” She smiled sadly, her eyes tensing as she looked into his

He frowned softly as she met his gaze. "We were two broken people who needed each other, who felt like we had nothing else...." "The First Order. This life. It took a lot from us.But life gives more than it takes.” 

“It gave me a chance to be better. To fight for someone- something, bigger than myself." She smiled, her eye glinting faintly.

"It gave me the chance to love. **Be loved**." She emphasized this, taking a swig of the elixir in her cup.

"I know we only knew each other for three years, but I feel like it was something more. We weren't just friends who also happen to do adult things together." She laughed, slightly nudging his arm.

"But at the same time, we knew we aren't mean't for each other. At least not in the end anyway." "We always knew that we still had to find **The one.** " Finn remembered. _The connection. The one that made everything else look like nothing in_ _comparison._ _A rope vs a string._

”I think we’re always gonna have a connection and I’ll always love you no matter what, just maybe not like that any more.... you get it?”

Finn nodded slowly, he understood the bond they shared.

”Yeah I think so. I’m just so scared. I don’t wanna lose the bond we have. I **do** love you but what if she’s the one.” 

She shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere, you and Chewie are good company- useful.” 

She cursed as she let slip a moment of sincerity  


"I see the way you guys look at each other. It's actually pretty sickening how much you guys love each other. Like at this rate, I'll give you the credits so you guys can get a room."

Finn laughed to now. Shaking his head and looking down. "How'd you know?" He whispered.

"Well you guys have been practically eye fucking each other the whole day. It's to the point where we all couldn't stop staring." They shared a small laugh now. More specifically Zorii laughed and Finn grinned sheepishly. Embarrassed. _I can't be that obvious can I?_

Almost reading his mind, she responded. "Yes, you are." _Finn appreciated how well they knew each other. All of each other._ Their moment died down before they stare back at each other.

Finn was hesitant to speak now, but finally did: "What if... what if you're wrong..."

Zorii responded, leaning forward. "What do you mean?" 

Finn's eyes went to that place again. She could see his irises growing wider, showing more concern. _When's that idiot gonna realize he's not (a complete) loser?_

"What if I'm reading things wrong. And she's not the one. And this whole thingwasamistake. I'vebeennervousalldayand I-" His words and his breathing intensified rapidly. 

" **Hey."** She squeezed his hand firmly and spoke clearly. "This is your chance, don't ruin it. Okay Hotshot?" This seemed to put him at ease and he calmed down. Taking a very deep breath, he returned to his normal state.

_Zorii found it odd. For all of his amazing feats, and his calm persona, Rey was the only person who could reduce him to a pensive, but bumbling idiot. It was kinda sweet._

"Okay..." He stood up. "Thanks. I'll see you on the ship?" He said, wrapping her in a hug. She smiled, "Probably some time tonight. I'm gonna chill out. Maybe find new work for us. Drink for free. This stuff can't do shit to me." She said, handing him a flask.

"Take it. You'll probably need it." They shared one last laugh before they stopped, staring at each other.

She leaned forward, grabbing his face to pull it down to hers. She was only an inch or two shorter. She slowly pulled him into a kiss. It wasn't sensual or intimate. It wasn't even that romantic. More of a gentle fondness. Like a goodbye, even though it wasn’t.

Just an acknowledgment of a deep level of care and respect for one another. An understanding. There was some level of love between them, but if this worked the love would be still be there, just not like it once was. One last kiss. One last time.

When she pulled back he blinked. 

"Go get her tiger."

He walked off. He was going to the one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, obviously I'm not gonna lie. I kinda slacked off and haven't updated in two weeks. I really had writers block trying to figure out how to write the next chapter in a way that's visceral and emotional, but also real. Kinda like the argument from "Marriage Story" but with Star Wars. I listened to Robbery and The Way Life Goes, and all my sad boi hours songs in preparation so hopefully I can deliver.
> 
> That being said, I wanna be fair to Rey and Finn, but at the same time I've kinda had a crisis of faith when it comes to Rey, Finn, and Finn's character. He was so deeply screwed over that I've kinda gone numb to it. I have some opinions, that some of you may have seen on twitter if you follow me @FL0zethaJedi (Sorry to plug my stuff) but I don't wanna share it here cause it'd be a real downer and the Finnrey community doesn't need that. Long story short, I'll try and have the next 3 chapters out asap. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but I have to get some angst first. 
> 
> (PS: Can anyone find the story between Finn and Rey. All I remember was that it was modern, slowburn, Rey had an Australian Boyfriend, and Finn and Rey hung out around New Years? I can't find it and I GOTTA bookmark it)
> 
> As usual, I appreciate any and all feedback and especially comments! Thanks for reading!


	9. Pin

"It's beautiful..." He said quietly. _He was right._ She thought.

As they lay there on the balcony. Just the two of them inches apart, they stared up to the sky. The deep blue shades had made way as fireworks lit up the air. Each blast ionizing and permeating the space with a warm glow.

As Finn lay there, he turned to Rey. The light was twinkling, refracting in her eyes. _Pink. Purple. Green._ She didn't appear to notice, but he couldn't seem to stop staring. She had a small look of awe in her face. He couldn't blame her. He marveled for a moment.

_She's lost so much, yet persevered. Experience so much, but still never got to enjoy the little things._ _At least now she could._ He smiled to himself. 

* * *

After Rey had left the great ballroom, she made her way to the rendezvous location. The Senate Building, since being remade had had some slight renovations. Now on the top of the Rotunda, or at the top public access level, there ware several balconies. They served no purpose, but allowed people to think and keep to themselves.

 _There's probably some_ _corrupt politician doing a backhanded deal at one of these spots right now._ Rey half-shuddered and half-chuckled at the thought. _Poe certainly had his work cut out for him._ No matter all the talk of peace, people were still just people. _People with agendas_. And agendas changed.

Before she arrived, she circled back to the Falcon and retrieved an emergency thermal blanket. She stared down at it laid out. She thought back to her own thoughts ten minutes earlier.

 _No reason to lay on the floor. Plus it's cold! You never know right?_ She rationalized to herself. _It's not like anything isgonna happen._ Though she would be lying if she said that she wouldn't have minded spending the night with Finn. Just being near each other. There was so much she wished to tell him.

As she waited, she paced back and forth. _Where did she even begin? What would he say? They clearly had to make up for lost time._ Her rapid steps were interrupted, by the sound of someone to her right. A brown hand was gripping onto the railing, pulling a figure up slowly. Rey tensed for a moment.

In one motion, she drew her lightsaber, the golden blade bathed the space, no bigger than her room on the island. She waved it in a way that would allow for a higher field of vision, but also as a battle stance. _Intruder?_ Then the familiar black hairs began to poke out of the shadows.

"Um, hi. Sorry I'm late." She heard him say. She exhaled and relaxed, sheathing her blade. "Finn I could have killed you! What were you thinking?"

His frame stretched over the railing, vaulting himself over to solid ground. As he dusted himself off, he looked up and smiled towards her. 

He held up his two fingers. "Okay two things: One, that was totally legit. The guards were watching upstairs. I guess they want everyone to either stay in the ballroom or leave. I had to sneak around!" He patted his shoulder. 

"Second..." He huffed. "I'm pretty sure I could take you now." He smiled coyly. Confidently. Rey scoffed, rolling her eyes sarcastically. _This man becomes a Grey Jedi and suddenly he thinks he's hot stuff_. She responded deadpan and fast. "Nope." She was smiling. This bickering reminded her when Poe had arrived on Ajan Kloss with the damaged Falcon. She missed this.

"No you couldn't."

Finn smiled, shaking his head. "Yeah I could."

Rey shrugged it off. "Nah." 

Finn retorted "I don't know... for a master Jedi, you don't really seem that intimidating." 

_Is this flirting? Or is he trying to rile me up? Or both? Is it working?_ It was.

Rey scoffed jokingly. "Interesting, because I seem to remember knocking you on your ass on Jakku." 

Finn waved it off now, taking a few steps closer. "Sneak attacks don't count Rey. You wanna prove that talk? Take me down now." 

Rey grinned in determination. "Do you **really** want that?"

"Oh yeah." Finn replied half serious, half joking. "Take me down, take me down right n-"

WHOOMPH

A simple leg sweep.

It was over before he had a moment to register what occurred. Finn found himself falling backward. The ground was rushing forward towards the back of his head as the sky began to come into view. Suddenly he stopped. 

He was suspended in the air. At the bottom of his eye-line, he could see Rey smiling down at him. She was gripping his collar. The only thing holding him up. 

_Well shit_. He thought. His feet were stretched out straight, like he was leaning at an angle. Even with Rey's help, his core burned as he tried to stay upright. To find his balance. _She had me right where she wanted me._

"About that intimidation thing?" Rey responded, glancing down. Finn closed his eyes. He had a slight grin. _A plan. An incredibly stupid one. But it was a plan._ With the last of his strength, his abs searing, he swung his leg up, then hooking it around Rey's. They both crashed to the blanket with a thud. 

Finn was on his back with Rey on top of him. A tangled sprawl of limbs, and yet Rey was still the one who maintained control in the fall. She had him pinned, her hand, grabbing his. 

"What about it?" He replied. There was a moment before they both burst out laughing. As the laughter died down, they found themselves actually taking stock at the situation they were in. 

Her weight bared down on him. _She_ _didn't realize how **solid** he was._ Every part of him was built with years of training. His strong chest heaved with every breath. _The First Order really did make perfect soldiers. She cursed herself for thanking them for that._

He stared at her face, studying every detail. He never understood why she was so self conscious. _She was so gorgeous. Smart. Strong. Kind. Athletic. Amazing at pretty much everything._ But up until today, it was like she didn't realize it. _She had always been humble. Even when she'd been like a god in his presence._ His mind started to wander as he stared at her lips.

They were staring at each other. Only a couple inches apart. _Get it together Finn. You're here to talk._

This thought was interrupted. By an loud BOOOM in the sky.

 _Explosions?_ He thought. 

_Now?_ Her mind formulated. 

Off in the distance, they could hear a familiar voice over a speaker system. "Okay everyone, enjoy the show and have a good night!"

It was Poe. 

They looked towards the sky again, scanning for the source of the noise. Suddenly a flash of colors, an explosion, appeared on the skyline. _Fireworks._

They relaxed. Their muscles slacking. Suddenly realizing this very adult position they were in, Rey rolled off, quickly taking to lay down next to Finn instead. "OhwowI'veneverseenfireworksinperson!" Rey blurted out with lightening speed.

They were a foot apart, both staring up to the display of lights. Rey turned to Finn. He hadn't noticed, but his expression flickered to sadness for a moment. No. _Maybe_ _disappointment?_ It shifted back, to wonder as his eyes looked at the fireworks. 

_Luckily he hadn't noticed her blushing._ Her cheeks flushed red.

* * *

"So..." He said.

"So..." She replied.

"You wanna talk now?"

"Sure." She replied.

"Cool."

"Cool."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Sorry I keep pushing it back. It's not that I'm forgetting to update, just busy. I swear I'm gonna try and blitz these next chapters asap. The big moment(argument) WILL be next chapter. Get ready... Also thanks for reading! Any and all comments are welcome!


	10. One Question, One Shot

As Finn and Rey began the second part of their night, it became apparent that several things transpired since the last time they'd seen each other.

Rey had become a master Jedi. Each of the students she was training respected and looked up to her as a master. She relayed her teaching and training stories with Finn and he listened with an eager fervor. Every detail he soaked up with genuine interest. "A rodian?" He asked. "Teeko. He's my best student." "He's really gifted with the force and he's only 12."

"Wow... I wish that was me. I can't tell you how many times I fell on my ass trying to push something." He replied.

She rolled her eyes with mock disdain 

Finn's mercenary-for-good Grey Jedi path had taken him all across the galaxy. He'd trekked dozens of environments and biomes. All while facing some of the galaxy's biggest dangers. From members of the Black Sun crime syndicate, to lumbering Jotazes on Zeffo. It was safe to say that he hadn't seen it all. _But he had seen a hell of a lot_.

"So you really saw them?" Rey said astonished. As she stared up at the dazzling display of fireworks of the night sky, her mind was elsewhere as Finn relayed his adventures. It had genuinely struck her, how much Finn had changed, yet somehow stayed the same. _He'd grown that's for sure._

* * *

She thought back to their meeting on Jakku. He'd just been a scared man. A wild, fearful look in his eyes. Like an animal backed into a corner. The First Order was death incarnate. And they were searching for **him.** Rey was just as different back then. She was just a girl in the middle of the desert. _Quite possibly the suckiest planet to be abandoned on._ She met BB-8 and had dedicated herself to getting the little droid home. It seemed like everything she did was just about trying to do the next right thing. Like her parents would.

Perhaps it was her fatal flaw, in her hubris, she tried to do the right thing no matter what, even if it hurt the people she loved in anyway.

* * *

She glanced towards Finn.

"Yeah." "Finn stuck out his hand, casting a picture. "Rey you should have seen it. There's thousands of them. All like Chewie." They both let out a slight chuckle. "And the trees? I swear, they blotted out the sun." "No way." Rey responded. "Rey picture, the tallest tree you can imagine... and then double it. Like I seriously, thought I was gonna fall." They laughed again.

"I wish I could see it..." She sighed looking away from Finn. Her duty, it had taken so much from her. Her whole life, it never felt like her own. Even now, when she was free and rebuilding the Jedi Order, she wondered if she was still part of some grand cosmic plan. She frowned at the thought. Finn seemed to notice. He cocked his head while prone, before attempting to analyze the situation.

"Hey, that's okay you can always come with us next time right?" He tried to reassure her. One thing Rey always appreciated was that Finn, in his nature, wanted the best for everyone. Want them to be happy It was a shame he was wrong.

"Finn... you know I can't. My students need me." 

"Oh." He said quietly. He hesitated to speak. Finally he found the right words to continue. "I know... my bad... it was a stupid idea anyway." _Maybe I should shut up._ He thought.

"Jedi are always busy right..." he muttered disappointed. 

"Yeah." Rey responded half-heartedly. _She wished she could go with him, she really did. But she had promise to keep. She felt terrible._

"Hey, sorry for ruining things. Do you wanna maybe play a game? Something to pass the time?" She pursed her lips. Unsure. _It was hard to gauge him._

"Oh um sure. I got this." He fumbled in his pockets before producing a single flask. "Maybe we can take it back to the good days? Like on Ajan Kloss?" He asked unsure.

Suddenly, dozens of memories of late nights with Poe, Rose, Chewie and the droids appeared. They passed time engaging in drinking games played on the rebel base at night. _What had Poe called it? Team bonding?_ In war, with the things you saw, you would need some light. Something to make you forget. Fortunately, drinking games did both.

"One question, one shot?" Rey asked. 

"Fuck it, sure. Even though you'll drink probably drink me under the table." Finn joked.

"I don't know, its been a while." Rey responded. 'You're on." She resigned.

* * *

As the night went on, time slipped past. It was probably a little after midnight and they had gone through several rounds, slowly breaking down their emotional barriers. They had quiet possibly the purest, rawest forms of themselves. Each question was met with giggles, and dramatic answers with much flair. They felt like kids. Dumb kids, spending the night together.

"Okay okay" Rey said. She handed Finn the silver flask. _Maybe it was time to get to real questions._

Perhaps it was a swell of emotions that day, or the alcohol, but those words changed everything.

He took a sip, placing the bottle to his lips.

Rey steeled herself. “Can I ask you a question?” 

"Hit me." Finn responded, corking the bottle and placing it down. He himself noticed that his voice had a very, ever so slight slur. _He estimated that he wasn't drunk, or even really intoxicated. What had_ _Zorii called it? Turvy? Topsy? Tipsy. It was tipsy._

Rey hesitated, before letting it out, wincing in the process. "Are you and Zorii….. you know?”

Finn was confused. _How did she know that?_ _Why would she?_ _It wasn't like she-_ It hit him. All throughout the day she must have been seeing him and Zorii interact. The hug, the bar, even when they arrived. _She hadn't seen them kiss had she?_ While a large part of him felt guilty, another smaller fraction had a more bitter thought. _It's none of her business. She left you remember._ That being said, Finn still felt guilty and replied the best he could. 

“Well no, but yes, kinda…” “It- it’s complicated.”

Rey's face instantly shifted to one of curiosity, her features pointed and focused, like all of her energy was devoted to Finn.

“We were kinda a thing….. Like several times.” Finn mumbled, fidgeting with his hand. "We um, we actually talked right before this. To figure out what we were... basically I do we think loved each other, but not soulmate love. Not the **love,** love. Like something between friends with benefits and actual love y’know?” "It was hard to put a label on it, and even though it was on and off, I'd be lying to you if I said we weren't together."

"When did it start?" She said, grabbing the flask. "Oh well, it was maybe 6 months into the team's adventures. We were on a mission protecting a client and I got hurt bad. It was a fifty-fifty shot whether I lived or died but she saved me. Zorii, she used to be a doctor for the Republic. You know, before everything went down." 

“Oh.”

"I would have never even gotten to see any of you guys again if it wasn't for her and Chewie. And then I don't know, it was like a spark or something. Things changed after that. I didn't even notice though until one day, I woke up and I realized that I'd started looking at her differently. Like I would fight for her. And I did."

Rey swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the ringing in her ears. She bit her lip hard. It felt like her entire world had just crumbled down piece by piece. A million thoughts went through her head. _Why hadn't he told me he needed help. I would have been there in a heart beat. They had a spark?_ _We had a spark. I missed so much. Maybe not everything..._ She brought herself to ask another, stinging question.

“Have you guys…?” She cleared her throat.

 _As much as Finn wanted to pretend that he was oblivious and couldn't read signals, he knew exactly what she meant._ He had hoped it was something else, but clearly it wasn't. These questions were starting to hit closer. _Though he supposed it was the nature of the game._

In his peripheral vision, he could see Rey’s beautiful golden irises.Her eyes stared at him intently, almost pleadingly. They weren’t angry or glaring, yet he could still feel them boring a hole into his skull.

This was it.

 _It’s hot, how the hell is it hot? It’s night time in the freaking Fall!_ Even when his armor was stripped off, just his black, brown and purple tunic, he still felt engulfed in flames.

Ever so slightly, barely noticeable, his face started to sweat, the question searing him. Finn showed more fear in this moment than he ever had facing the perils of the galaxy. Facing down a legion of Sith Troopers, the barrel of a battering ram cannon, and even Kylo Ren himself couldn’t have prepared him for this. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her. Either of them.

Rey perked up. She was waiting for the big reveal. 

_I guess she deserves to know._ He rationalized.

She was still waiting. She didn’t really need an answer, it was his business. But in his heart, Finn knew he had to tell her. Whatever was happening here, no matter how it turned out, they had to be honest with each other. Even if it hurt. 

So he said it.

“Yeah, a couple times...” He couldn’t meet her eyes since he closed them. His fists were clenched, and his whole body was wound tight. However, even more noticeable was the fact that his voice had been raised by one octave.

Her state was fractured. One hand Rey was glad someone had been looking out for him. He'd spent too much of his life under the heel of others to not be able to live happy. The First Order had taken so much, almost his ability to care for others. But he still had. He brought out the best in everyone. Even Spice runners. And when she'd turned her life around, Zorii gave him something Rey couldn't. Love. 

On the other, her heart was shredded from the idea that Finn had been with someone else. _Ever since Jakku, she'd always known she felt a connection with him. He was her first real friend. They were always there for each other. And after the war ended, it was like whatever connection they had, was gone. Maybe not severed, but so faint it might as well have never existed._ _That's why this day had felt so strange._ Whatever connection they had, this force bond, or something stronger in the force itself had been reforged, but maybe it was too late. 

"It just kinda happened, we couldn't really control how we felt..... Like how you felt with him." As Finn fought, to rationalize the situation in a way to make her understand, he mentally cursed himself. He didn't even have to say the name for her to know who exactly he was talking about. They hadn't talked about him since she returned from Exogol. When Poe and the pair had debriefed each other after celebrating. Too much pain.

"Finn..." Rey said tentatively.

"It's just what happened, it's done." He stared off, before her next question returned him to her gaze.

"Why **her**?" She said quietly.

As soon as she'd asked this, her mind began to process what he'd said.

Just _like that, he'd brought him up. Said it like it was some simple matter._ The man named Kylo Ren, for better or for worse had affected her life. She didn't know how she felt. _He_ _was in so much turmoil, and he took that rage and pain out at her and everyone around him. But perhaps he **had** cared about her. He saved her __didn't he? She never knew why. They hated each other, but at the same time they were drawn to each other. Finn should have treaded lightly, he knew how complicated it was._

As a small bubble of annoyance rose in her. "I just didn't think she was the kind of person that you could love." 

Finn was taken aback. _This didn't sound like Rey. Who was she judging?_ _She of all people. Without even hesitating, he retorted assertively._ “Well I **did**. Zorii is a good person at heart. She cares for others. She doesn't take just because she can. Not like others..."

_She couldn't tell if he was talking about her or Ben. Or both._

"Besides...." He muttered, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, "...its not like there was anything left for me. I had to do something. Feel something real. Like I mattered."

"What’s that supposed to mean?” Rey asked, sitting up and staring at him. _He_ **did** _matter to her. He always had._ As she lay there propped up on her arm, staring at him with an increased potency, Finn stared right back. _I_ _should just drop it, its not worth it._

"Nothing. Never mind." 

"Okay" Rey said huffing, her body taut with energy. "My turn." She muttered irritated. Taking a final sip, she practically hurled the flask at him. Had he not been a trained force-sensitive, it would have no doubt, struck him in the temple.

S _he hated that she was getting angry. She was angry for so long. She'd worked to find inner peace and for the most part, she had. Until_ _this big, dumb, sweet, goofy, annoying stormtrooper had come back into her life. She was getting pissed._

As his hand stuck out, the cold flask cooling his hands, he noticed her eyes. Something had clearly changed. They were more vigorous. Upset. For as much annoyance there was, there was also a equal level of pain.

 _Let it go._ He thought. The voice in the back of his head spoke a little louder. **_You can't do this, you love her man. Just let it go._** But he couldn't. 

“Why’d you leave?”

It was her turn to be grilled. She looked down, her stature shrinking this question made her feel small.

_She never thought she would have to confront this._

_Maybe this was mistake._

_She should have never come here._

_Done this._

_She wasn't ready._

Nevertheless, even with all of these thoughts in her head, she tried answer. He deserved that at least.

"Finn, the galaxy was in ruins. The Jedi, the Sith, they were all gone. People needed help. A symbol, the Jedi had to be reborn."

Even as she spoke, she began to wonder if she herself believed in her words. _These ideals. This creed she'd aligned herself with. They'd cost her Finn. **Her Finn.** _

"I made a promise to Leia to keep the light alive, no matter what. I felt her **die** Finn! I couldn't just let her legacy end like that." She swallowed, reaffirming herself. "I mean what did you think? Really? "That we weren't gonna grow up, move on? Things were changing and I didn't need any distractions, I needed focus. I couldn't get that with The Resistance. Or even you... I had a job to do." 

The alcohol was in full effect, her voice instantly straining with emotion.

Finn sighed deeply, closing his eyes. "Are you sure...?" Finn asked slowly. 

"What?" She asked confused.

"Nah that's not it. It's something else." Finn affirmed. His tone had some level of insistence in his voice. _Like he was sure of himself._

"Finn you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know me." Rey replied frustrated.

"You're right. I thought I did. But I guess I was wrong." He seemed bitter, sad. He sat up too, staring at the concrete balcony.

Rey knew where this was leading. She was trying to make sense of it. _So much was happening so fast, so much she couldn't control. What was happening between her and Finn now, it wasn't normal. **Wasn't them.** _Despite these thoughts she had to know. She asked one last question.

No alcohol. 

No laughing. 

Just a question.

"What ever happened to us?" 

Finn didn’t answer. He sat there for a moment taking it in. He didn't speak. Instead he simply scoffed and turned away.

“Are you okay,?” She asked.

“No, I’m not.”He continued, his fingers curling inward ever so slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thanks for reading. I had to split the fight cause it was super long, and I'll update in the morning but this was more the setup. Theres like two levels of intensity and keeping it as one long chapter seemed daunting for the readers. I'll have it out tomorrow morning. Thanks for reading. Any and all feedback is welcome!


	11. The Way Life Goes

"No, I'm not." _I guess we're doing this._ He thought.

_Finn was pissed. All this talk had been leading to this. He tried to remember his Jedi training, maybe be rational and calm but at this he just didn't give a damn. Or maybe he gave too much of a damn. Either way, he knew he had to speak._

His fingers were curled inwards, practically carving into his palms. What would have been a sharp pain was only numbed because he was feeling a different type of pain. As she stood up now facing him as he walked towards the balcony, looking out towards the Courescant skyline.

He spoke.

“Rey, you left... And I thought I would be okay, but I'm not. I found something out there for me- found my place, but I still didn’t have the one thing I didn't realize I needed: You.” He started speaking faster the pace of his word shortening by the sentence.

“And I loved you, and when you left a part of me left too. I couldn’t eat for a week. How could I be a general when I couldn't even get out of bed?" _It was pathetic. The war was over yes, but he still felt more tormented than he ever had waking up to nightmares with Poe and Rey near him._ He turned his head to look back at her. Then he stared forward again. 

"You couldn't even tell me yourself, you had Poe do it while you took off in the middle of the fucking night!" He said, chucking the flask over the railing.

"I had to spend the next three years wondering if you were okay on top of knowing that you never wanted to see me again." He lifted his arm, revealing that he had raised the silver container back up to his level. As he reached for it he spoke. It had her sigil, a wolf with wings. He palmed it gently, reminiscing. 

"And then Zorii came into my life, but I missed you. And you were just gone. Just like that.”

"Finn what did you want from me?" Rey said waving her hands in exasperation. "You never respected me, all you did was follow me around like a dog. You **clung** to me." _She hated herself for saying it but she couldn’t stop_

"I did respect you!"

"NO, you did not!" She let out. If it weren't for the fire works, somebody would have most definitely heard them. Perhaps they still could.

"You always thought I needed help, like I was somebody who needed saving." _She found herself alarmed at this colder side of herself._

"For all the things that Ben Solo was, he never once made me feel powerless. Not like you." She said, pointing away towards the ground indignantly.

_She instantly regretted it but she couldn't stop. She had to let it out_

"You thought you were helping but you weren't! You made me feel like I couldn’t do anything on my own. You were suffocating me and I couldn't do it. Not any more!" 

_Was I.... was I suffocating her. I- I just wanted to look out for her._ _That's what friends were for._ _Right?_ He was doubtful. 

* * *

This recontextualized everything he'd been through since escaping the First Order. Poe and Rey, the first people he met has a free man had left such a huge mark on his life. They were such shining examples of light and goodness. He hadn't imprinted though, just forged a strong connection.

 _There was a difference right?_ _Or had he really just latched onto the first people who treated him with a single shred of decency? No. It couldn't be._ Maybe he had been lonely. _Or maybe he just didn't have anything else, but he'd found something- someone to hold onto. To fight for_. _They were his friends._ _He couldn't just lose that_.

* * *

Her face was starting to turn red, the heat of her heart burning through her cheeks and temple. "I had to go, even If I cared for you guys, I **had** to. I need you to understand that." "Besides," She said gesturing towards his whole appearance."You're clearly doing much better without me." 

"-OH BULLSHIT REY!" He screamed, gripping the railing. _He could never hurt her, never._ But he had to control himself and fast.

Even she moved back, started with this burst of passion.

He turned around to face her. He croaked. "Rey, you had the **perfect** life. A last name, a whole future ahead of you. A family. Me? I had nothing."

With the last of the fireworks burning in the night sky, she could see the light glimmer in his eyes. His eyes blurred red. _He must have pushed this down for so long. She thought. All these feelings, emotions, he had to push them down. Like she had. Put on a brave face for the sake of others. Even when deep, down, they_ _were suffering the most._ She pitied him.

"The only thing consistent **in my life was you. The one constant..... and you just left. Like I didn't even matter.** ” His voice broke, his tone returning to a more normal state.

"You did to me Finn, you did. But you were fine. You had Zorii remember?”

"Rey, you're the one who left us, not the other way around. What does Zorii have to do with this?!"

"EVERYTHING." She spat back harshly. _She thought she didn't get jealous. She was wrong._ She continued, a new level of anger rising to the surface.

"Instead of just telling me how you felt, you just did nothing. You never did anything! Even back on Passana. I didn't know what you wanted to tell me, I had a hunch, but I wasn't sure. And you **never** told me." "The week before I left, I knew it just knew we didn't mean anything each other."

"No, you know how we felt." 

"Do I? Imagine me learning that the moment I left, the one person I cared about more than anything, went and fucked somebody else?" Her eyes watered as tears began to stream down her face. "Someone you barely knew..." 

"Did you want me to keep chasing you forever? Screaming your name every five seconds? NO! For all the times, I felt worthless, even now, I know that I deserve better than that."

A new tone of disdain entered his voice. "Even when you were with us, you were never really way there. It was like you were distracted. Like we weren't enough for you!" "You were too busy thinking about him. It's sick." _Finn was revolted in his choice of words. She couldn't control how he felt. Nevertheless, he pressed on._

He was just getting started, each emotional punch hitting harder than before.

"He fucking razed the galaxy! Slaughtered millions. His own father! Rey, you fucking kissed the guy who tried to kill us! TO HURT YOU!" _He was hurting. When Rey had told him when they debriefed. Finn had dismissed it. Pushed it down. Life happens, she can't control how she felt. It was what it was._

But every day, Finn couldn't help but find himself asking the same question. **_Why him?_**

 ** _"_** He tortured you, called you **nothing.** You are **not** nothing." He turned around, lifting his shirt up. She could still see it.

The nasty, grizzled scar had remained all these years. Faded, but still present. Even in the moonlight, she could see the definitive marks of where he had been struck. Where pure skin ended and a more rugged, damaged skin, ended. She winced at the sight.

 _Even though Finn was the one who protected her, she still felt guilty after she saved them both. He was_ _only there because of her. She betrayed him._ This toxic, attraction of lust and power between her and Kylo, it had almost cost her everything.

"I have to live with this for the rest of my life. I got it standing up to a bully. Choosing not to run. I'll never forget that. But I choose to remember it as when I decided I would fight for you." He released it, letting it drop back down.

_After all this, I'm the problem?_

"Imagine how I felt when you told me what you guys did! I had to bottle it up. Be there for you. But that asshole? I'm glad he's dead."

This wasn't Finn at least not the normal Finn. This was Finn with nothing holding him back. The alcohol speaking every thought in their brains.

"And you have the audacity, the **nerve** to get mad that I found somebody that made me happy?"   
  
"Fuck that." He spat.

Things were escalating quickly, but even then they weren't done.

"All this time, maybe you were right. If you weren't happy with us, you should have left sooner. Not act like we were some goddamn burden...." He was quiet. Conflict was running its course.

“Finn everyone I cared about has either died or left me.” “Luke, Leia, Ben, Han, my parents. They’re all gone.”She tried to reason. _He has to know how I feel._

"Everyone except for you!”

"I didn't want lose you too. I was tired of being hurt."

"So you pushed me away?!" 

"No, I needed to be alone."

Her gaze was more defiant now. A new passionate fire burning in her hazel eyes. She got in his face. They were mere inches apart. The energy of the force ionizing around them.

There was a look of such pure love and anger. They really did bring out their most vulnerable sides.

“At least you had someone.” He said unflinching, his eyes trained directly on hers. _All her life she felt alone. And he just acted like everything was perfect. Like she was okay._

“Do **Not.”** She growled. She pushed him backwards, knocking the breath from his lungs and causing him to scatter against the railing.

“That is **NOT** fair!” Rey exclaimed.

Finn exploded, a mess of pure emotions. He stomped forward, looming down over her.

“Really Rey?”

"All this time you kept looking for you parents in all these people. Luke, Leia, Han. Even **Him.”** His tone hushed as his throat produced a slight inhuman like growl.

Like he didn’t wanna invoke his presence. **  
**

**"** So many of them let you down and you **still** didn’t care!"

He pointed to her jabbing a finger towards her face. "You needed to be told who you were, so it didn’t matter.”  She was silent 

“No matter what anybody thought, even you…” He pointed towards her. “… To me you **were** something! You always were. You were the most important person in my life!” Finn continued, growing closer.

Her mouth opened to speak, but no words came out.

“I didn’t have a last name. I had to make a random one up. I was taken from a family I will **never** know. Do you know what that’s like? To want something so bad and know you can never have it?”

He his lip quivered as his eyes trailed off. He sounded defeated. _For everything Poe said, Finn knew he would never completely fit in at the Resistance. Leia for as good as she was,could never see him carrying her legacy. Only Poe, Rey, and yes, Ben. He had no place in this story._

“But I didn’t care because I thought I had a family. With Poe. With the Resistance. With you! I should have known better”. Each blow came rolling in strides now.

"I needed you. I had to figure out having the force on my own until I found Ahsoka! It was just me! And you left..." He turned to walk away, letting out a dry chuckle.

He stopped at the door now. Unmoving, frozen like a carbonite statue .

“Do you want to know the funniest thing? He said softly.

”You didn’t need to be a Skywalker, a Resistance hero, or even a freaking Jedi master.”  He huffed.

"You were perfect just the way you were."

His fist had been clenched but he released it, tiny drops of blood dripping to the floor from the indents in his palms.

He was certain now. "Rey the Scavenger from Jakku, that's who I fell in love with..." His voice was crying out, nothing but misery. 

"I didn't even wanna fall in love, but I met you and I had no other choice. I fell hard and it caused me nothing but trouble and pain. There was joy too, but the hurt, there's miles more." He was sad. _What brought them to this?_

"And by the way, I finally figured it out. Why you left anyway." He raised his head, from looking down.

 _Rey couldn't see his face with him being turned around, but she could guess that he was smirking_. _Trying to smile to hide the pain. She hated seeing themselves like this._

"You were always afraid to let down your guard. Even on Jakku. And I get it, life gave you a reason not to let those barriers down. Everyone you ever cared for died. Somehow, it's like you think you're some blackhole that sucks the life out of everything. But you're not Rey. You're perfect. You're smart, strong, caring, kind, and most importantly, a good person. But it's like you couldn't see it. And every time someone got too close, you pushed them away. Even me..."

Even though he felt defeated, he spoke clearer. With a new level of understanding, he spoke those words like a final declaration. 

She just stood there. This was something pure. Just like with Kylo on the Supremacy, she had been forced to confront the truth. And her feelings. Only this time there was no where to go. Instead of some sick twisted sense of disdain and ownership like Kylo, Finn was speaking to her in a sense of a connection that was lost. _He was right._

“Rey, I loved you just the way you are and I liked myself better when I was with **you.** ” He turned around so he could face her now.

_Loved me?_

The energy was electric. Even without the force, the raw feelings permeated the air, shrouding them both in a sense of pain and vulnerability. Was there such thing as loving somebody too much?

They stared at each other intensely, their aura in the Force, while invisible, piercing the air around them. They each took a step towards each other, they were close. Just like the dance in the ballroom. Except it was a different kind of exposed. One with pain.

“I should have never come here. It was stupid and, I’m being an asshole and I'm sorry I wasted your time. There's no point. Maybe I knew you once, but I guess it wasn't as well as I thought. At the end of the day, you're just too afraid to feel." 

It stung as an insult, even saying it. And yet, it was the truth. 

_She stared back at him. All her feelings bubbling over at once._ Her rage, her sadness, indingant from all this. Finn wasn’t the only light in her life, but he was the first. And now she had lost it.

 _How dare you?!_ She thought. _I know how I feel, you_ _don't get to tell me. And you sure as hell don't decide my fate. I do.  
  
_

She would do something she regretted, all her walls were exposed. "SHUT UP!"

Before she could think, almost like a base, animalistic urge, she reeled back, striking him across his jaw.

Finn barely registered what happened, all he knew was that he had been slapped and his face searing with pain. Between their shared tears, the slap, and the alcohol it was sensory overload. Tensions ran high, there was too many emotions at play. 

_He didn’t blame her. He’d been guilty in tearing down her walls, leaving her just as exposed as he was. Didn’t mean he couldn’t be pissed off._

The stood there for a moment taking in everything that had just happened. The fight had climaxed, they were both so raw with feeling. **_Every feeling._**

They stared more intensely , their eyes penetrating the other's. There was a beat, deciding who would do or say something next.

_Shit_

Then almost instantly, before they could even realize what was happening, they locked themselves in a kiss.

Their lips pressed against each other, almost crashing into each other's mouths.

Pushing him backward's, Rey didn't stop until they were against the wall. As they both groaned, they explored the other's body. Finn slid his hands down her body, wrapping around her waste instinctively. 

Rey like was was running her hands through his thick main of hair. It was nothing but pure passion. A primal urge for one another. An urge born _of pure loathing and pure love._

This escalated quickly, as placed his hands her ass. She pressed even closer. _They both liked it._ They were one entity. But somehow. Almost at once, their senses returned to the closest thing to normal they could get.

Clarity. They both pulled back disappointed.

Disgusted. Not at eachother but the way this was happing.

 _They almost hate-fucked. It wasn_ _'t them._ They both thought.

 _It’s wrong._ Finn rationalized.

 _The relationship isn’t toxic, but it shouldn’t happen. Not like this._ Rey confided to herself.

 _Too much anger and sadness._ Even though they couldn't hear each other they knew the other's thoughts.

_They had a good thing and they lost it._

Finn was the first to lash out, hunching over and bringing his arms to his chest with fury. 

“FUCK!”

“I was in a good place, I was okay. And I even thought I could move on, but I can’t.” His voice broke.

Rey was crying too. More reserved but still vulnerable.

 _Everything since Exogol brought us here. I thought I could move on too, I pushed him away, and look what happened. We basically hate each other now._ She had reaped what she sowed. 

Nothing bothered her more than to their relationship in this state.

“So what do we do ?” She asked.

“Maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore...” He said quietly. He was tired. Tired of the pain.

"Finn...” She began.

He only held up his hand, silencing her. Not in anger, but just pleading. He had to speak.

"I've hurt you and you've hurt me enough." 

He put his hand down, going over to his armor, placing it back on. _That armor, his whole outfit, all signs that things changed. They both had._

Connecting the last piece, he turned to her. "Wouldn't you say? We're getting older, and the galaxy needs us. It's like you said, no distractions."

His voice, just a moment, sounded like the good-natured, jubilant Finn she spent her time with. Somehow, it was still reserved and melancholic. 

_She missed the better_ _Finn._

"You're right....." It was all she could say. _He'd thrown her own excuse back at her._

"I'm sorry Rey, I didn't mean for this. He looked around. Take care of yourself, please." His eyes were red with tears.

With that, he turned back around jumping over the ledge. Each movement of his limbs gracefully taking him further and further down. Force jumping.

_I can't let the others see me. Not like this ._

The girl from Jakku was alone.

* * *

Zorii walked into the _Endeavor._ The ships lights were turned off, she could hear the whirring of the heating and lights at work.

Chewie's loud snoring could be heard from his quarters. _Sleep well big guy._ The caterers could hardly bring out food fast enough.

She arrived in the hall and saw her door. Underneath, she could see faint glimmers of light. Someone was in her room. She went to the armory, retrieving her blaster. She aimed it opening the auto hatch. There, she saw him.

He sat at the side of her bed facing the wall. _Finn. He looked like shit._

"Finn what the hell?! I could have shot you!"

He said nothing. Silence.

"What are you doing here, where's Rey?"

Again nothing. He was shaking.

"Things didn't turn out how you thought Hot Shot?"

She wasn't trying to hurt him, just make him smile. In the three years she'd known him, she'd never seen him, like this. The silhouette of her slender frame hung in the door.

"Finn...?" 

She came over, finding her place next to them. He stared forward, then down at his beacon. He'd always had it with him. 

_She never knew why he had it, but she could tell it had to do with Rey. She never asked, and she certainly didn't have to._

Tentatively, she reached out. Just a finger, then a hand. 

" **Hey**... What happened?" He slowly turned his head to meet her eyes. His eyes were puffy and blurred. _He'd been crying._

Zorii for the first time ever, Zorii Bliss was speechless. Finn had always been a source of light in the team's life. He never lost faith. Always believed in them, and that everything would be okay.

When she stared into his brown eyes, she saw the eyes of somebody broken. He'd lost his light.

He crashed his head into her chest, releasing the sobs.

She sat there cradling his head in her arm, as he unleashed all his pain at once.

That was the way life goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi thanks for reading. So here it was, I hope I delivered. Sorry if I didn't. I tried to be fair to everyone and really draw out their pure feelings for each other. Re-examining their relationship, this is what I came up with. Sorry if I hit anyone with the feels. I'll try and update when I can!" Thanks for reading! Comments and feedback welcome!


	12. UPDATE: No, I haven’t abandoned the story

So hey guys yo keep it short I’m sorry.   
I know it’s been a while since an update, I was busy. For starters, I had my finals for my first year of college and wanted to focus and maintain good grades. 

On top of that there was a unpleasant Twitter incident where a fellow Star Wars fan harassed and blackmailed me all because I didn’t like Reylo. Finals finished on the 12th, but I will admit that I’ve been twiddling my thumbs. Not with writers block, but after that, I just didn’t feel like doing anything Star Wars related for a while. 

Long story short I know I have to see this through on top of finishing my FinnRey Racing Roadtrip AU and one other potential story. After that, I don’t know. That being said, I will try to get it finished some time in the next two weeks. 

But I do want to know something. I was gonna finish this story in two different ways, either a quiet(And in my opinion, corny) sort of Rom-com style ending with them both realizing the error of their ways(Even though it realistically isn’t that simple).Or a bigger, action-oriented ending where right before Finn and Rey go the their separate ways, a siege on Coruscant brings them back together. I don’t usually ask the audience for help but which one would you like to see?

I personally believe the latter option would allow for exciting story telling to see just how much they’ve grown but it’s up to you all. Thank you so much for reading and being patient. I won’t let you down.

\- FL0ze


	13. Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn wakes up, reliving the night prior in the worst possible way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm OFFICIALLY OFFICIALLY back. I'll be updating the story as it happens but thank you all for patience. I finished and passed my classes so we're back to the regularly scheduled program!

_"Fiiiinn......"_

_"Finn._

_"Finn!"_

He jolted awake. His head throbbed as if his skull had been split. "Fuck..." He muttered out loud. _Where was he?_ He looked around. The orange gleam of the sun dawning shone through the shuddered window casting a brilliant ray across the whole room, painting a better picture. _An all too familiar picture._

 _Zorii's room?_ He thought to himself. He found himself pondering what had occurred. And then he remembered everything. The fight, the kiss, the party. Everthing. Staring at fireworks, sharing an embrace on the ballroom floor. _He remembered **Everything**_. "Where's Zorii?" He found himself asking, the only thing had been missing from his last memory was her location. 

He remembered bawling his eyes out into her lap. Finn didn't like being overemotional. The First Order had conditioned him to believe that emotion was weakness. And yet, even during his first mission, he wore his heart on his sleeve. Yet he regretted forcing Zorii to deal with his issues. He didn't know where else to go. He'd have to make it up to her somehow. Maybe clean the ship. Or get her alcohol. Alcohol worked too. 

At the very thought of this ( _in his mind, accursed)_ substance, Finn grew nauseous. Maybe he had had a little too much to drink. _He was fairly certain that spilling his guts to Rey would not have gone as_ _poorly as it had if he wasn't absolutely **hammered.**_

 _Fuck._ He thought to himself, he really needed to get to the bathroom fast. He stumbled through the Endeavor, haphazardly taking off his shirt and robes as fast as he could. _No way he was gonna defile sacred robes with party booze vomit._

He continued, walking past a sleeping Zorii in the crew lounge, he'd have to thank her later.

As he crashed into the bathroom, he leaned over the toilet, gripping it tightly. 

_You know, I probably deserve this._ He thought, as his body began to purge all of the pain and alcohol from the night prior. 

Elsewhere... somewhere else on Coruscant, the girl from Jakku was beginning preliminary maintenance checks, and a band of outlaws were assembling.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, thanks for reading! Hoping to get the next chapter out asap. I appreciate any and all feedback! Comments welcome! Thanks!
> 
> -FLoze


End file.
